Chef-a-Go-go Files
Volume 1 Issue 5- Monday August 11th, 2008
Wisdom of the Ancients
This is a continuation from the Chef Shane - The Culinary Globe Trotters’ feature article in the Chef-a-Go-go e-letter.
VISAS - CHECK FIRST
Give a few weeks in advance if possible to check for all the visa requirements, fees, and documentation, filling out, processing and submitting.
Check every aspect of the visa types available for your nationality - on all of the passports you hold.
Many countries issue visas on arrival or automatic 30 - 90 day visit visas for nationals of States with immigration treaties between them.
This is often free and instant. Book a ticket, and off you go.
As an Australian, I can visit many countries without the need for a visa, including Europe, Thailand, Singapore, UAE, and Egypt.
But I couldn’t go on a weekends notice to India due to visa requirements, and the same applies to China, Ukraine, Kazakhstan specifically in my case, and many more.
With some time on hand to take care of getting visas, having flexible dates for the best prices on tickets, and a bit of research, there won’t be any problems.
Visas are usually the biggest headache on any trip.
Check all the visa requirements and eligibility as not all nations are as fair and friendly at the airport as they are at the hotel.
If you somehow manage to show up at an airport of any country without the right entry permits, you are in for an ‘unwelcome experience’ in all senses of the phrase. And 90% of the time and expensive return flight.
DEPARTURE TAXES IN SPECIFIC CURRENCY
Have a look at some travel sites or books and get the latest info on getting in and out of the country.
Many nations charge a tax or fee to enter, and another separate fee to depart.
Often, this is in a specific hard currency, and in a certain amount.
Even in these ‘enlightened times” there are still horror stories of having no currency, or credit cards not accepted, or having the wrong currency, delaying departure and causing embarrassment.
As a rule, US dollars are generally pretty fluid resources, and take care of most departure tax issues, even though it is a bit low at the moment.
BORDER CROSSING TIMES
This usually applies to land border crossings where there is a checkpoint.
Some (most) border crossings are open 24 hours, but some of the more obscure ones in weird spots, miles from anywhere, have very specific and inflexible times for border crossings and visa processing.
Picture this - you, the intrepid explorer, jet off to a remote part of the globe, and after donning a safari suit, getting some dreadlocks, upgrading the piercings, and buying a copy of “lonely planet”, you head off to book your cheap bus/ samlor/ donkey-ride ticket to some God-forsaken place in the middle of nowhere that even the map sounds unsure of.
After a dusty, bumpy, gruelling 17 hour trip that takes you 673km into what looks like a war zone, or the movie set for “Predator”, you find the border crossing shut for the night.
You bathe yourself in D.E.E.T. and sleep with a baseball bat, with which to fend off mosquitoes the size of fruit bats.
Local mafia assess your value and size, whilst accomplished rip-off merchants have systems in place to make sure you have to avail yourself of their services over the next 12-18 hours.
Eventually, after a rough night and an abrasive morning, you get yourself down to the border crossing post again, looking like an extra off “Lost”, and get refused an exit stamp as you only have local currency and there is no ATM or bank………….unless you take that 17 hour trip back.
It CAN happen.
HOTELS
Many of us work for hotels, so we should know the tricks - we probably even helped implement them!
Bear in mind that booking ahead a month online can save pennies - many websites offer discounted rates at hotels.
http://www.asiawebdirect.com/
http://www.lastminute.com.au
http://www.hotelscombined.com.au/
http://www.asiarooms.com
http://www.expedia.com
As chefs, many of us get screwed on breakfast rates. Give a great brekkie and get very little money for it.
Well, when YOU stay in a hotel with a great brekkie product, GET IT INCLUDED IN YOUR ROOM RATE!
Let THEIR chef worry about your penchant for gypsy ham, smoked salmon and truffled scrambled eggs!
Location
Before looking for the most affordable room rate, factor in:
- Taxi/ tuk tuk/ bus etc to and from where you are likely to be spending your time. It can get expensive getting backwards and forwards, and can often make sense to pay a bit more on room rate for a better location that suits your needs and desires.
- Breakfast and any other included F&B.
- Movies - are they free, or pay per view?
- Laundry and mini bar - OK folks, we’ve been screwing the public for years. Now that we ARE the public, see if the in-house services rates are affordable, OR look for a bag wash service, a per kg laundry service, or somewhere handy but outside the hotel to get your drinks, food, phone calls and laundry.
- Taxi fare from airport.
Looking at all the above, you might find that the more expensive room rate gives you a better experience and less overall cost than the cheaper one.
FINDING OUT ABOUT YOUR HOTEL
www.tripadvisor.com - this is the biggest, and the most influential site with lots of traveller reviews, photos and tips. It also has average prices paid by different travellers for the same hotels and rooms.
www.travelpost.com/
http://travel.yahoo.com/
FINDING OUT ABOUT YOUR DESTINATION
http://www.virtourist.com/
http://earth.google.com/ JUST AWESOME. You gotta spend some time playing with this whether you travel or not!
This amazing software gives you views of 100% of the planet earth with zoom function from space, right down to 20 metres above ground level.
You can view in 3D or 2D, and search or save by GPS, name, business, attraction, hotel or location.
You can fly over the world; look as a satellite view or map view, or even a hybrid view.
This is a real time waster, and is just fascinating.
A GREAT resource for travel research!
Google say: “Google Earth lets you fly anywhere on Earth to view satellite imagery, maps, terrain, 3D buildings and even explore galaxies in the Sky. You can explore rich geographical content, save your toured places and share with others.”
http://www.google.com/Top/Recreation/Travel/Guides_and_Directories/
AIRLINES AND LUGGAGE
Just back to luggage for a second.
We have already gone over methods of packing lightly, in order to save on baggage charges.
Another issue is airline, and ticket price.
To generalise, most “normal” airlines give you a 20kg baggage allowance. These are usually the “full price - full service” airlines.
If you get offered free beer, wine, spirits, full dinner, movies, peanuts and meals on the flight, then you can normally take 20kg as check in luggage at no extra cost.
NOW - Airlines are very much under pressure, financially and otherwise.
Prices are high and competition fierce.
They NEED to make money.
As a rule, the check-in staff is able to make allowances for extra kg at no cost.
They are also expected to charge mercilessly for every gram of excess weight.
You can NORMALLY get away with an extra 5kg with 90% of these airlines - they’ll wave it through without too much persuasion.
29kg is getting a bit cheeky, but can be done with the right approach.
30kg or more, you’d better be persuasive, or have your wallet handy.
I have heard great stories of getting free excess baggage. Complete breakdowns, litres of tears, frenzied sobbing and collapsing in a heap and weeping tend to be at the top of the list.
A gentle, meek, distraught, traumatised ‘shell-shock” look can often do the trick too, if accompanied by personal pleas for mercy.
Aggressive and rude posturing, and loss of temper rarely gets you anywhere - often it guarantees a bad experience, from the rest of the airline staff, so try and be nice, and also creative.
A wee bribe can often get things sorted in the right way.
In Kazakhstan I had 110kg excess baggage, and after a surreal 20 minutes at the check in counter, I ended up having to follow their ‘system’ and wheel my bags into the toilet, meet a guy in overalls in a rear cubicle, and hand over $300 in cash to get my $500 excess baggage charges “waived”.
Seriously, this gets very “Monty Python” in some airports.
If you MUST pay, then you can often unpack at check-in, then take the heavier stuff out, and carry it on with you in plastic shopping bags. This can reduce the cost a bit.
A cheaper option is to find the “Unaccompanied baggage” counter and send it on a separate flight. Normally arrives within 24 hours of your arrival at the next airport, and costs 50-60% of the price, saving you a few coins.
BUDGET AIRLINES
I actually LIKE budget airlines.
As a rule, they are neat, no frills, on time and inexpensive.
Most have a refreshing attitude and an even more refreshing “lack of bullshit”
They also have easy online booking, great fare structures and some great destinations.
On the negative side, the tickets can be horribly inflexible once booked, little or no refund, and the baggage allowance is only 15kg with most.
That is, 15kg.
Not 15.1kg - that will cost you money. And you will end up getting frustrated and having a fight, as the budget airlines are on a mission to reduce costs and make money - even more so than the big boys.
This is REALLY annoying, and it is quite bizarre as well.
I had 23kg once. I had to repack 4 times until I got 14.9kg to check in. I ended up carrying on 6 bags - I looked like a bloody pack-horse, so I actually ended up inconveniencing the whole plane by struggling on and holding up boarding - along with the other hundred passengers who were also struggling with hand luggage.
The same weight went up in the air, but everyone had saved face, and everyone had “only 15kg” checked in.
Pointing out the lack of logic in this will rarely get your extra 5kg checked in.
I ALWAYS take a few plastic shopping bags with me when checking into budget airlines, just in case you need to take some stuff out.
ON SUITCASES AND BAGS
In my experience, don’t go for the bags you want.
Go for the most secure, lightweight, functional ones that suit your needs.
If you are a fashion victim, buy whatever designer label takes your fancy. You can afford it.
- Don’t get black, or bland standard colours or shapes - get something that is easy to recognise and hard for someone else to steal without you noticing (or mistake for their own). It makes life easier when you are searching for it amongst 800 others bags on a packed conveyor belt.
- Get a LIGHT bag or case. You only get 20kg allowance. 15 on the budget airlines. If your bag is 12kg already, then you will have to take it everywhere empty
- Size - If you have wads of cash, and love throwing it at airlines, get whatever bag you want. If you never want to pay excess baggage, then get a bag that fits about 20kg, so you are not tempted to over pack.
- If you want to take my tip with carrying everything on, then get the right sized bags. Backpacks and small bags with wheels and handles are pretty convenient. When I am feeling cheeky, I normally get away with a hefty backpack, a laptop in a bag, my camera, a small utility backpack, and a miscellaneous plastic bag. Remember - no liquids in any container size over 100ml allowed in carry-on these days.
- Portability. Make sure it is easy to handle and move around. Avoid awkward sizes and shapes, and things with only one handle. If it has wheels, and the ability to lift, turn and drag then it should be OK.
- Security. Firstly, NEVER check in valuables. ALWAYS carry on your mobile phone, camera, laptops, hard drives and important document.
It is VERY easy to split the zip on soft bags and remove the contents - and due to drugs and terrorism, the bags are always scanned. You can imagine your chances of seeing your new camera, blackberry or laptop again.
- Hard bags cost you luggage space, as they are normally heavier.
I always pack clothes and stuff in a soft light bag with wheels and handle giving me maximum available room and weight for my luggage.
ALWAYS lock your bags securely, and check them well before checking in and after picking up. Alarm bells should go off if any locks are tampered or broken.
- It is SO easy for anybody to slip drugs or contraband into unlocked bags for smuggling, and if you get caught, it is jail for a very long time. Don’t take the risk.
- NEVER leave bags unattended.
- NEVER look after, or carry someone else’s bags. The oldest trick in the book for smuggling. Even if you feel sorry for them and they don’t have money to check their bags - Don’t do it. If you get caught with the unknown contents of the bag you ‘help out with’, it can cost you 20 years in a foreign prison, or even a hanging or a beheading. Be SURE of what is in your bags, keep them locked and secure, and watch them like a hawk at all times.
Yibbida Yibbida - that’s all for today folks.
I’m off to Phuket in 3 hours, and yes, I take most of my own advice because I got my degree in travel from the International School of Hard Knocks.
I’m packed, ready to waddle onboard festooned with bags like some sort of obese Xmas Tree.
Feedback, responses and extra info very welcome.
We’d love to have some of your own anecdotes, stories and experiences to share with the network.
If you feel that more could be added to a topic or extra info that is relevant, please send by email to shane@prochef360.com.
Be sure to check back for the regular blog postings from Chef Shane.